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Today I picked up a fruit at the fruit sellers and took it home to eat it. It looked like a big apple. The flesh inside was not really edible, but then there were the seeds. Each of the seeds had a ruby case around it that, when pressed between my teeth, would release a [...]
My friend, Ashley, is a doctor in a state prison. I won’t tell you which one, or which country singer has a famous song about. I will only say that, if you shoot a man in Reno, just to watch him die, you could end up there. Though you would have to cross a state [...]
I was in the store the other day when a mom and her son came walking up the aisle.
Mom: I’ve told you to keep your hands to yourself. You want a smack?Kid: No. [The kid starts taking things off the shelf]Mom: I told you, keep your hands to yourself of you’ll get a smack! Kid: [...]
I had this conversation with my friend over IM this morning.
Sabrina: How’re you doing?Dan: I’m awake at 7:30am, how you think I’m doing ?Sabrina: Hey, I was awake at 6:20AM. Got you beat! I don’t even work!Dan: Yeah, but you’re used to that shit.Sabrina: So I found some really cheap fares from Chicago to Paris. [...]
There is a place here in NYC called “The Tuck Shop” that sells Australian meat pies. Until I encountered the place, I was unaware that Australia had any kind of “national pie” let alone how yummy said pies are.
Last night I was at a bar. I know the bartender. The bar has recently started selling [...]
I went to send an email to my two friends, with whom I go to trivia night, to see if we will be doing trivia tonight. "Trivia" coming from the latin tri, meaning “three” and via, meaning “road” or “way”. Thus leading to me typing an email as follows:
Hey girls, are we doing some three-way [...]
I had the follwing IM conversation with my friend Jerry:
Dan: I had a date on Friday with that cute gamer girl… only to find out she’s not interested in me that way. Not “that way,” as it were, but rather she wants a Friday night Fascape-watching buddy. So, that’s kind of disappointing. On the plus [...]
Before I get on with the story, I must tell you that I did, in fact, break down and order a case of pure, unadulterated bottled nerd juice. (Note: it is not, as far as I can ascertain, made from nerds, but rather for nerds. Just so you know.)
Last night.
I’m at a bar I like. [...]
"Hey Dan, what did you do the other night?"
"I met a kinda-interesting-yet-strangely-disappointing, marginally sketchy, alternate-universe, what-if-my-life-had-taken-a-completely-different-route, distorted version of me, and I’m feeling pretty good about myself right about now."
"How did that happen?"
"I had movie night with my friend Jerry. We watched Lost in La Mancha and Kentucky Fried Movie, and we had a few [...]
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