Danmail

My friend, Ashley, is a doctor in a state prison.  I won’t tell you which one, or which country singer has a famous song about.  I will only say that, if you shoot a man in Reno, just to watch him die, you could end up there.  Though you would have to cross a state line.

Turns out that prisons can be rather Orwellian even for the staff.  A few months ago the doctors were given strict instructions that they had to give full checkups on all prisoners returning from any outside sojourn that involved any medical care whatsoever.  Office consultation with a specialist?  Yup.  CAT scan?  Definitely.  You name it, if it was medical, they had to do a full checkup upon the prisoner’s return.  Two months later, they had a meeting.  This is my screenplay for the movie adaptation that will never happen.  Nor, I suspect, should it.

Doctor in Charge:
You are giving full checkups to all returning prisoners. You shouldn’t.

Doctor Not in Charge #1:
We were told to do that.

Doctor in Charge:
No you weren’t.

Doctor Not in Charge #1:
Yes, we were. Two months ago. You, yourself told us we had to give full checkups to all returning prisoners.

Doctor Not in Charge #2:
We even asked about prisoners returning from things like non-invasive diagnostics such as MRIs.  You said we had to give everybody full check ups if they left the prison for any medical reason.

[The other staff in the meeting make general of agreement]

Doctor in Charge:
You were never told that, and I definitely never said it.

[Silent pause]

Ashley:
So… we’ve always been at war with Eastasia?

She got mostly blank stares. But the two doctors who cracked up, she knew their worth!

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